Rob Knight

Alternate job opportunities for RoboCop?

May 04, 2011

Last night, R & E and I had a conversation about RoboCop. It’s one of my all-time favorite movies. Not because of the futuristic, sci-fi robotic action; but because I laugh really hard anytime anyone repeats this line from the movie.

We got to talking about other possible job opportunities for the police officer who became RoboCop. If I remember the plot right (no, I’m not going to spend even a nanosecond reviewing the plot of RoboCop on Wikipedia), all of officer Murphy’s limbs were damaged beyond repair and replaced with robotic parts when he became RoboCop. But, what if they had given him a choice between making him into RoboCop or just leaving him with (probably) no limbs?

We didn’t actually discuss the context for our reasoning. So I feel the need to say that these options only apply to the severely injured officer Murphy of the Detroit Police Department. I think it is safe to say that the Detroit portrayed in the movie basically had three kinds of people: cops, criminals, and victims. Given that limited set of employment opportunities, we decided the injured officer Murphy’s career choices come down to the following:

  • He decides to let the fancy doctors who cuss a lot make him into RoboCop.
  • He becomes an extra in porn movies (“I’m just here to watch”).

Other, less viable options such as paperweight, children’s toy, and giant drain plug were immediately dismissed or not said aloud during the discussion. As I type this, I think voice-over actor is another possibility. I remember there being a lot of television in RoboCop. So that is a viable option for a guy with the voice of officer Murphy. I bet you could make a pretty cool cartoon character with the catch phrase, “Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.”

So, there you go. Other viable career opportunities for the injured officer Murphy. We discussed this. For awhile. For far longer than anyone should discuss the merits of a limbless Detroit police officer acting as an extra in a porn.

I’m so going to hell for this.

Update: corrected spelling (caps on the C) of “RoboCop”; corrected spelling of “sergeant” and then removed it because I couldn’t find proof officer Murphy was actually a sergeant.