As I left the gym this evening, the mindless ritual of getting my gym card back from the otherwise distracted college student staff member was pleasantly disrupted. Rather than carefully reciting my name and quickly following up with a spelling lesson, the staffer knew my name and simply handed me my card and wished me goodnight.

HUH?

I've been going to this gym for the last 3 and a half years. Not once in that time have I ever retrieved my gym card without identifying myself by last name. But tonight, I was "a regular."

It got me thinking about how nice it is to be a known regular at the gym. I'm there enough for them to remember me and my last name (3 years of memorization tests not with standing). Then I started thinking about places where I'm glad I'm not a regular. Obvious answers include the pub, the dentist's office (though they cheat and read it from your chart before you walk in and pretend to remember), and Blockbuster Video.

Other places I'm glad I'm not a regular:

• Walmart
• Any public restroom ("Pooping again, huh Mr. Knight?")
• Adult bookstore
• Any MySpace Group
• Arby's
• The Golf Channel

That's about it. I'd welcome regular status anywhere else. Did I miss any places?